Maushold raises many questions about Pokemon breeding

“Life, uh, finds a way.” That’s what Dr. Ian Malcolm says in Jurassic Park, a famous line uttered by the incomparable Jeff Goldblum. He’s referring, of course, to the genetically modified dinosaurs that scientists find a way to better control, and he’s proven right. Breeding has been removed from Pokemon Scarlet & Violet, but life finds a way, and Maushold opens up many questions, many of which are deeply uncomfortable.

Maushold is the evolution of Tandemaus. It starts out as a cute pair of mice, working in tandem (geddit?) to get the job done. Once the ‘mon (‘mons?) reaches level 25, it evolves into either three or four ‘mon Maushold. This is the Pokemon version of the nuclear family. It was named the cutest Pokemon in Gen 9, but when you really start thinking about it, it’s nothing but horror.


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It is indisputable evidence of Pokemon bang. Sure, the Kangaskhan has its own brood in its pouch, but the other parent is nowhere to be seen, so Maushold is the most solid evidence we have. Before, we could brush it off as storks carrying an egg, but there’s no doubt here, these two mice ossified and now have little baby mice. The Violet Pokedex reads: “The little one just appeared one day. They all live together as a family, but the relationship between the three is still unclear.” I’m talking bullshit, these aren’t Pokemon’s version of the Virgin Mary …or are they?

It’s also a deeply troubling day, and I’d be willing to bet it’s part of the reason traditional breeding was removed from Gen 9. could breed, where would the children go during the act? Can Eftychia and Togepi, clearly children, reproduce? Are we not only forcing these poor creatures into knives, but also fornicating them, using them as studs and spawn once they’re out of the PokeBall? A lot to consider, all thanks to Maushold.

Another question, is the Maushold three or four separate ‘units that just enjoy being together, or is it a single hive mind? They appear to be separate ‘mons’ grouped by Violet’s family of four in the Pokedex. “The older pair protects the young during battles. When you face strong opponents, the whole group will join the fight.” Do you feel good about using poor babies to fight? You? Huh? Does this make you feel big and tough?

Tandemaus in Pokemon Scarlet & Violet.

Also, is it even German? Paldea is made after the Iberian Peninsula, not Germany, so what gives the name Maushold and Tandemaus? Perhaps they emigrated, seeking a better, warmer life. Instead, they are thrown into battle, forced to protect their young from the literal Pokemon Gods.

These cute babies, little tiny mice are also insanely strong. Their move, Population Bomb can destroy the shop and Tidy Up can clear entry hazards and protections from the field. Soon these “units” will take over the area, disrupting the ecosystem and causing nothing but destruction. You see cute wild mice, I see the end of Paldea.

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